On the first day of class of the Promociona Programme, our fantastic academic Director, Patricia Cauqui, asked us what our greatest fears in our professional careers were. We each quickly made our list, and when we shared them we realised that most of them were repeated; not getting to everything, not doing things well, fear of being judged... but there was one more common than the rest: "one day someone will discover that I'm not that good!".
WOW! How revealing and striking, considering that all of us there currently have over 15 years of experience and at least 7 in management positions, which means we have what could objectively be called a successful professional career.... and yet WE DON'T QUITE BELIEVE IT.
Well, it turns out this very common "fear" has a name: Impostor Syndrome, the name itself is already a good slap in the face....
What is it about?
In 1978 the doctors of psychology Dr Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, both from the University of Georgia, published a study that defined this syndrome: "impostor syndrome is a term used to describe the internal feeling of being an intellectual fraud". In their study they identify "women with impressive academic and professional achievements who think they are the result of luck or chance, and that at some point they will be found out, unless they make a titanic effort".
In short, it's not believing in your own worth, feeling you don't deserve what you've achieved, thinking that one day or another we'll be found out... that we're not as good as others think.
Fun facts: Albert Einstein considered himself an involuntary swindler, Kate Winslet has confessed to waking up on the morning of some shoots and thinking "I can't do it, I'm a fraud...", and the Managing Director of the IMF, Christine Lagarde, said in an interview that she would prepare for more hours than she should out of fear of failing. Incredible but true...
If I was born a woman, am I more likely to believe I'm an impostor?
From a genetic point of view it hasn't been proven to be a gender issue, but the prevalence is higher in women who have achieved a certain level of success.
It must also have something to do with the fact that, according to a study on Female Leadership by PWC: 60% of graduates are women, yet only 16% reach board level and 5% become CEO.
Psychologists relate it to self-esteem and also to the drive for perfectionism; I don't know which came first, "the chicken or the egg", but I certainly come across many cases of friends, colleagues and clients (in my case they are Doctors), all of them brilliant, who don't quite believe how good they are and the tremendous potential they have.
lack of confidence or perfectionism ?
What can I do to kill off the impostor within me?
I'm going to give you 3 deeply personal pieces of advice that have helped me a lot:
1.- Believe in yourself.
To do this you must do a very simple exercise: think positive!
Many years ago, when I was studying the eMBA at ESADE, Andrés Raya, professor of People Management and Leadership, whom I deeply admire, told us a phrase in class that stuck with me for the rest of my days: "motivation starts at home" bam! Although it may seem a devastating phrase, it's the best advice we can apply to ourselves and to our team members. A motivated team member always gives their best. Our main task as managers is to "not demotivate" my professor Andrés Raya also taught me that.
Motivating yourself is quite simple, it just means focusing and reminding yourself of all the skills and favourable circumstances you have to achieve your goal, and above all to enjoy doing it. Positive psychology has been studying this phenomenon for some time; there are two books that have helped me a lot: the first is light, you can read it on a high-speed train trip and it's also fun: Vivir la vida con sentido by Victor Küppers, and for the more advanced and with a bit more time Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson.
My favourite video, is a 5-year-old girl who shows us how simple it can be, "I like my dad, I love my house, my aunts, my hair.... I can do anything, anything..." it's really fantastic, it leaves my children spellbound and it burns calories too! :P.
2.- Be consistent
J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, is today considered one of the richest and most influential women on the planet, she was rejected by 12 publishers, and when she finally got her first manuscript published, her editor advised her to find a job because he didn't see much of a future in it for her... but luckily he was wrong!
It's more than clear that Rowling believed in herself, because racking up 12 rejections from different publishers and continuing to persist is certainly hats-off worthy. It should also be said that Rowling was not only not rich, but was struggling to raise her daughter alone in Edinburgh, having fled from Portugal where she lived with her husband who, apparently, was no sweetheart...
Do you think Rowling didn't think a thousand times "I'm worthless, this isn't for me, what am I doing with my life, I'm giving up"? I'm sure she did! But she didn't let herself be defeated, she kept fighting and writing in cafés while her daughter slept; gossip has it that she wrote away from home because she had no heating... imagine the scene!
Consistency is key to achieving our goals, they say that to become an expert at something you must dedicate at least 10,000 hours to it, so in our case, keep training, never stop learning, it's very enriching and it will also give you an edge over others, and with that you'll gain confidence in yourself, which will translate into improved self-assurance and therefore the wretched syndrome will tend to disappear.
3.- Share!
Impostor syndrome is not an illness, it's simply a feeling more common than you thought, and it's certainly better to talk about it with your friends, to ask for honest feedback about yourself, for example: what do you convey? What could be more interesting than getting the opinion of the people who know you best, who have or have had that feeling before you.
The Wonders club: it's the club of 4 friends who met because their eldest children were in the same nursery class, we were always in a hurry, with the same problems and almost identical worries, and we decided to create the club, which by the way has now lasted 10 years. We nicknamed ourselves the "wonders"; even we ourselves find it incredible everything we do without dying in the attempt...
Attention: the trick of the Wonder MaryGaby; she is a lawyer, tremendously intelligent but at the same time introverted, so she struggles to bring out her full character and project her voice in court. To stop impostor syndrome from ruining her day at a trial, she has convinced herself that when she puts on her gown, Marygaby gains special powers, turning MaryGaby into WonderMaryGaby.
It's obvious that Marygaby puts in many hours studying her cases, and in the mornings, when she gets in the car, she pumps herself up with music at full blast, repeating to herself over and over "I can handle anything, I can handle anything". Since I don't have a video of MaryGaby you'll have to make do with the one of the lovely 5-year-old girl (who, to me, is MaryGaby 30 years ago). It's not the gown that grants her magic powers, it's her effort, her consistency and dedication, but she often thinks: why did they give me this case if it's way too big for me? That's when we must spot the shadow of the syndrome and quickly activate positive psychology; "Yes, we can!".
Here's an illustration of the Wonders: MaryGaby is the one wearing the gown and the "G" on her suit, and that's how we all learned a trick to leave the wretched impostor syndrome at home.
We can all find our own strategy to overcome fears and insecurities, with positive psychology, studying, preparing yourself and, above all, talking, laughing and enjoying the simple things like having a beer and gaining some distance from your day-to-day; it relieves tension enormously. Being brilliant at everything can bring a lot of mental and physical stress... give yourself the privilege of getting something wrong, well... if you're a heart surgeon, best not, eh :P.
- did you know about impostor syndrome?
- did you feel identified? did you like the post?
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